Somewhere, some guy named Ross is kicking himself for snubbing Jessica Alba when they were in school. When Alba won the Teen Choice Award for best female hottie, she dedicated it to Ross who wouldn't give her the time of day because she was "pigeon-toed," had a "sway back," was "slightly cross-eyed, buck-toothed" and sucked her thumb. Alba finished her speech by saying "Look at me now, Ross!"
Backstage, Alba says Ross had promised to pick her for his baseball team if she kissed him. She did and was still chosen last. She says she "never trusted men again."
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